Why Obama Must Nominate a Muslim Asian Ladyboy for SCOTUS
I have an idea for the perfect Supreme Court nominee. First, let’s take a look at the Laws governing the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.
I. What Are the Federal Laws Prohibiting Job Discrimination?
- Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 (Title VII), which prohibits employment discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, or national origin.
II. What Discriminatory Practices Are Prohibited by These Laws?
Under Title VII, the ADA, GINA, and the ADEA, it is illegal to discriminate in any aspect of employment, including:
- hiring and firing.
These are not trivial laws. The 19th Amendment to the Constitution (Women’s Suffrage) exists because of the assumption of equality, which is reflected in these EEOC federal laws. Therefore, whomever you nominate to the Supreme Court will have to enforce this rule of law in discrimination cases that rise to the level of the Supreme Court.
After having given this a considerable amount of thought, Mr. President, I suggest you nominate a Muslim Asian Ladyboy (a.k.a. “shemale”). Here is my reasoning for this selection:
- The Muslim part is something you can’t resist. You’re madly in love with them. Speaking of love, I’m thinking you probably swing that way, so just think of the secret meetings you could have, wink wink, nudge nudge.
- An Asian ladyboy is, well, Asian, of course. Currently, Asians are not represented on the Supreme Court. Not to mention that Asians make the hottest looking ladyboys.
- Asians have a skin color that is unlike anyone’s skin color currently on the supreme court.
- A ladyboy is a woman, sort of, which adds another woman to the Supreme Court.
It is important to find a ladyboy/shemale who enjoys sex with both men and women. Why?
- Since a ladyboy is born a man, sex with another man makes the ladyboy gay.
- Sex with another woman makes the ladyboy a lesbian of sorts.
- Having sex with both men and women makes him/her bisexual.
- Ladyboys/shemales are by definition transexuals.
A bi-sexual ladyboy is a virtual cornucopia of sexual diversity. He/she represents every shade in the LGBT spectrum.
It is clear that the minority best equipped to understand the evils of job discrimination is someone who encompasses as much diversity as possible. A Muslim, Asian, Bi-sexual Shemale represents a minority of race, color, religion, sex and national origin that does not currently exist on the court.
Therefore, I urge you, Mr. President, in the interest of fair hiring practices and non-discrimination, to avoid selecting anyone but a Muslim, Asian, yellow-skinned bi-sexual ladyboy, regardless of he/her qualifications as a judge. It is a bold step toward social justice.