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White House Burning Down, Obama Responds

June 16, 2010 2 comments

The President gave this speech about the White House fire disaster:

Good evening. As you know, the White House has been burning for 57 days, the number of states in which I campaigned. I plan to take immediate action to address this crisis. Here is what we must do.

  1. We will send lawyers to sue the builder and create an escrow fund of money I can redistribute to friends and potential voters
  2. We are going to invest taxpayer dollars and print money to fund alternative fire-resistant building materials
  3. We will create a Chop And Trade system, in which the price of wood will necessarily skyrocket
  4. I have appointed a Fire Czar

I have given the Fire Czar complete authority over managing this disaster, including the ability to deploy Navy corpse-men to help douse the fire, and he has instructions to call me on the golf course if he needs any advice.

Thank you, and good night.

When asked why the government rejected offers of water from Pakgen, Obama responded, “That water has impurities in it. We figure it’s better to let the White House burn until we can find cleaner water.”

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Categories: Evil, Obama, Obama Speech

To the tune of Car 54 Where Are You?

June 14, 2010 Leave a comment

There’s Al Qaeda in the Bronx
Iran’s itching for a fight
Holder’s selling guns to crime lords
Business closings left and right
OWS cries like a child
And our debt is running wild
Barry Hussein, Where Are You?

Starring Barry “The Golfing Vacationer” Obama as Muldoon, and Joe “Plugs” Biden.

Plugs: Ooh! Ooh! That’s a big f**king deal!

Categories: Evil, Obama, Song

Why Obama enjoys his incompetence

June 5, 2010 Leave a comment

Have you ever wondered why Obama never changes his behavior no matter what the friendly or unfriendly press says about him? Have you ever wondered why Obama seems like he’s totally unconcerned about his re-election chances?

What is is that Obama measures as success? Obama is out to create a massive crisis so that he can use the crisis to reshape the USA into his Marxist utopia. This plan presents a unique scenario for a president. It allows him to do anything he feels like doing with no perceptible consequences.

Consider this: If his goal is to create a huge national crisis, then here are the possible outcomes, and what it means to his behavior:

Outcome A: Success. The primary goal is to create a crisis that allows him to destroy capitalism and reshape the USA into what he believes will be a Marxist utopia, where there are two classes — the elite ruling class, and the working class. The ideal goal is to create a crisis big enough so that he not only gets to reshape the USA, he can declare himself the president indefinitely, thus eliminating his risk of losing the next election. Failing that, at least exploit or create a lot of little crises to leverage a series of power grabs.

This explains his behavior, his extravagance, and his total lack of competent leadership. All the golfing, partying, traveling, mishandling and ignoring all of the real problems such as unemployment, national security, etc., contributes to the success of his plan. He spends too much money on personal luxury? So what? It agitates the people and increases the debt crisis. He doesn’t help clean up the oil spill? So what? He can use the disaster as an excuse to grab more power, possibly even seizing control of energy providers. He doesn’t want to secure the border, prevent terrorist attacks, improve the economy, lower unemployment? So what? Fixing these things would be counterproductive to his goal of creating countless little crises or, ideally, a national crisis.

Outcome B: Failure. The constitution remains intact but the USA is severely damaged, probably for decades. Obama loses the next election. Liberals/progressives lose the balance of power, and it is up to their replacements to try and reverse some of the damage.

So how would this motivate him to behave differently than he is behaving now? It wouldn’t. If he fails to create a big enough crisis to succeed, why not just live it up until 2012 or perhaps even 2016, if he can hold on that long? Golf, go to parties, travel the world, ignore the problems facing the USA — who cares? Get it all while the gettin’s good because he won’t have it anymore after his term is over. And it’s not like he gives a rat’s a** about the fate of America, anyway, so there’s no point in doing good just to get some of his progressive friends re-elected or please the people with whom he disagrees. America is the evil force in the world, so it deserves whatever damage he does to it.

Obama is driven by pure malignant narcissism. Take over the country, that’s ideal. Lose the country but live it up for a few years? That’s an acceptable trade-off. He has no consideration whatsoever about anyone else.

Categories: Evil, Obama